Do you ever get the feeling that you're up against the world? or that you're the only one that doesn't fit in? I'm getting that feeling back again. Like whenever I look at my life it feels like i have no one that i come to rely on all the time. Like out of all of my friends who are my friends and who aren't? I wish i was different. I wish i fit in. I wish that i could close my eyes and escape from this world.

Just lately things have been insane. i mean my weekend and the start of my week. But except for thinking about those things, i start to dabble along the line of friends. Alot has changed in the past 2years and will keep on changing. Like in classes I still feel isolated from everyone. They all have their own conversations, but i'm left with nothing sometimes. I feel the frustration of having to prove myself and getting the chance to shine. But these moments will never come true, they're too much to ask for. I mean i only wish someone felt the same.

Some people can be the MOST ANNOYING but then they're still accepted and they're still loved. But on the other hand, someone like me? I don't see anyone paying any attention over here. I don't see people talking to me like they do to others. I don't see why i'm complaining about this... I wish this problem never occured. Ever since primary some insecurity inside me comes out and starts to make me think, Who are my friends? Especially during school. aka my old group. Who out of there really cares for me? I mean there are some characteristics i don't like, but others are fine. My gosh i wana tell about how i feel towards a certain person, but i guess not. all i can say is they are assholes.

fuck it, im complaining too much. toodles

p.s. sorry Que for not keeping my mouth shut at the right time.. i feel bad SORRY *hugs and kisses*

HELLO BLOG

Hrms, first week back at school was ok. WE FINISHED EARLY YESSSS lols oh wells. but nothing much to report. school's the same i just need to concentrate and that's about it? haha YES me concentrating O.o OH YEAH maths teachers changed bloody hell i got mr NG =.= man he remembers me.. i thought he forgot ><"

Well i think it was the wednesday morning i was dreaming peacefully then the next thing you know i dream about geoffrey dying. a while after the incident i couldn't take it and THEN i was out with i dont remember who but i just cracked and cried in the city. i woke up thinking WTF was that ><" then Que told me that my dream means that geoffrey is going to live long. but this morning i woke up almost sweating dreaming that DEATH (yes the dude in the cape and his stick thing) was chasing after me and trying to kill me !!!! oh my gosh i was soo scared >< but then when i told Que she said i'm gona live longer.

Then the past 2days or so haven't been great. things just start getting worse. Like school and outside of school. *siGh* things were going soo smoothly and now its like some truck has decided to come and crash my life? ><" arghh.

Hrms, Valentines Day is coming up. Im getting Que and Anne a rose for sure ^^ then probally ruth and trinh since they got me one last year?? haha that was a first that i ever recieved a rose on valentines day. I remember it sooo clearly lol. but then that means i have to go to the bloody florist early ><" siGh* i can imagine it will be packed.

Well im gona go. take care everyone. AND GET WELL DARA !!!

tOodles

Today was alright. It wasn't as I expected but I predicted right about the time that we leave HAHAH. YESSS* Well now I have an early morning everyday, along with roll call at the end of first period and I need to bring a book =.= siGh* then ermz, I got alot of free periods along with friday afternoon off along with the rest of the school YAY* lol.

After school me and anne went to meet up with Que since she didn't have anything after 1st period. then we bummed around and Su was with them. I haven't seen her in YONKERS !!! thens we left to shop. I honestly didn't find anything for Jessica's bday pressie. the amazing thing was when she came we ate at Max Brenner's man their stuff is delicious but very filling !!! and Jessica shouted us THANKS BUBZ !!! *MWAZ*  love her to bits. but when we were there these little maggotz kept annoying us =.= especially when ruth was taking a photo. siGh* OH i got me and Geoffrey matching rings LOL i think he'll like it. hahaha he better. I got trinh's bday pressie. and ermz I need to think of what to give Que and Jessica along with getting Geoffrey's Valentines gift in which i know what to get lol.

But overall, I think today was alright even though i didn't get to see everyone. Some were perticularly irritating like NOT SAYING HI TO ME hrmphs.. i think anne and que would know who im talking about. (yess the one who think she's all with the hair *hint hint*) LOL. but yerr oh and others too.. people change. i change.. who cares. well im off toodlez

loving Geoffrey*

HELLO BLOG!

Officially on my last day of the holidays... I have nothing to do. Well with the exception that i played tennis with Carol this morning. But to recap my holidays, I didn't do what I expected to do. I mean I was suppose to study these holidays, my gosh I've turned into a lazy bugger. Then I didn't get to hang out with Anne and Que that much along with Jonathan. I didn't get to meet up with those who I really wished to see like Sylvia, Sabrina, Susan, Yiyi and Jin =( But I did get to spend time with Geoffrey <33 I think he was the only one I saw most but then again I think I had to see him the most since we're planning on studying more than see each other =(

But thinking about the future ain't so bright. I mean this is my last year of school and I have to make the most of it. Even though there are some trouble here and there with understandings or me disliking poeple >< But then again, they are what make up my final year right? I'll take Vinson's advice on being determined lol thanks Vinson =) along with my own persuasive way of trying to study HAHA as if that's gona happen lmao. But I'm determined to study and get my course XD and get my overseas trip my mum promised me hahha but hopefully I can compromise with her to let me go elsewhere instead of america.

Anyways that's enough for now. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE =)

today being a sunday seems pretty boring lol. did nothing much. but my nephews are over right now =) hahaha they're having banana milkshake lmao.

well, yeah lols not much to report. Babysitted my nephews etc and did nothing much lols. stayed away from home alot this week. i should like um stay home now LOL but that is like most unlikely hahaha. oh wells. anyways just popped by. blogging is starting to become useless. no one looks because they're busy with school or something else. oh wells. anyways im off decided to blog for no specific reason haha.

ciao everyone take care

Today is such a boring day. i haven't done anything at all except for watching mr and mrs smith, the family guy and net. siGh* i lead a boring life. but right now.. i'm in a pissy state as there is some fucker out there calling me and not saying anything then hangs up.. but when he did all he asked was "is pussy there?" why don't you go looking for pussy elsewhere you fuckhead!!!!! i'm gona find out who it is.. then scream the hell at them. i don't tolerate private numbers and stupid pranks like these.. ARGHHHHH

Anyways in other news. I haven't exactly done anything productive except for finishing Memoirs of a Geisha. It's such an intersting book.. my gosh i love it. Then I can't wait for the movie WOOOOT XD it's in english to my suprise. I thought it was gona be in jap but oh wells. At least I'm gona understand. 11 MORE DAYS TILL THE MOVIE COMES OUT!!!!!

My holidays. So far I've started my Extension Project, my Art major and revised a tad bit. I'm needing to do more to score more this year. Stressing out about the fact it's my HSC year when I thought the day would never come when I get into year 12. I wish I hadn't open my big mouth.

Oh yeah. by the end of this month i should be able to get my dress that i've longed for so long. but i also need to save up heaps more for other stuff. argh so gay. if only i had a job ><

well that does it for me and this update.. toodle loo

hey blog. for some reason why this thing is weird.. i should change into a new blog thing lols.. anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONEE !!!! wishing you all the best for 2oo6 =) take cares and enjoy yourselves.. for yr12.. STUDY HARD LOL. toodle loo

hello blog !

well at the moment im bored off my ass and i haven't really got anything to do besides clean up my room *siGh* or maybe reading. i should really start reading my novel.. ><

anyways i think i should REDO my dedications.. its like changes and soo much happened throughout the past few months.. PLUS im bored =P

Geoffrey: HEY BABY, you're like always number 1 coz that's what you are in my life.. Everyday feels weird without me having to msg you or even talking to you. My day to day life must consist of my talking to you!! haha i sound obsessive don't i? :P but really you do mean the whole world to me coz you're always there for me when i need someone the most as well as loving me <33 I LOVE YOU HEAPSSSS... MORE XD

Trinh: hii hun.. i know the past month or something has been awkward for us but that has all changed and our friendship still remains strong.. im sorry for all the things that i've done wrong in life.. i know im not the best friend in the world.. but you are to me.. i appreciate everything that you've done especially being there for me.. thank you and i love you <33

Que; hiiiiiiiii WIFEY lols.. yes its been like 10months now if you still remember we got married during legal studies.. lols. you have been supporting me for a while now and i don't know how to say thank you for it.. i mean whenever i have a problem you're always there to listen.. likewise with other people as well. But thank you sooo much for everything you have done <33 loving you heaps wifey !!!

JESSICA: OMG IM SOO SORRY !!!i can't believe i forgot to add you >< shits.. but the for most important information is.. THANK YOU HEAPSS for being my friend and being there to cheer me up when we do hang out.. you listen and give me advice when i need it. you're always there for me.. thank you soo much !!!! im soo sorry i forgot ya >< see but now its edited lols... take cares LOVE YA LOTS !! <33

Lyly; my gosh where can i start? lol jks.. THANK YOU HEAPS LYLY for those times when i needed the most. You're always there for me and for anyone else who has a problem and i appreciate it heapppsssss ^^ there won't be a time when things will go wrong between us as that has never happened lol. you know i'm always here for you whenever you need anything ok.. LOVE YOU LOTS !!!!

Anne: hey anne.. still want an industrie boy? lol you've been a great friend since we first started talking and most recently too !!! i think i still owe you a lap dance lols  dw you MIGHT get it someday.. same with Que too :P but thank you for being there for me as well as Que when i needed it most.. i appreciate everything LOVE YA <33

Wayne: POO HEAD lols.. yes yes you are in the list of dedication.  haha though we live so far, we are still close with each other.. we talk once in a while... but its all good. you're always there to listen to me complain and bitch lols as i do when you wana bitch hahahah.. you're like the best bro i could have!!! thank you heappssss... p.s. don't be eating so much down there !!! haha jks.. LOVE YA <33

Ryan: hey butthead lols. yes you are included in my dedication BUT i doubt that you would read this since you may have "better things" to do than visit your lil sisters blog LOL.. but from when we first met.. you have been there when i needed someone to talk to or when i'm feeling isolated too haha.. but our calls are like once in a million years? you better come out with me and jess these holidayz.. otherwise i won't be too happy lols. i just wana say thank you for everything .. you're the next best bro i have coz i can't choose between people.. LOVE YA~!!! <33

Sylvia: HII HUNNY !!! yes we got married too lols.. i think it's been like a year for us.. WOOOOT XD i'm soo proud of us lols.. but thank you sooo much darling for being there for me.. you're always cheerful which is a  great thing.. i really hope to see you these holidays ok !!! its a MUST lols..  love you <33

Katharine: HEY sexy motherrrr!~ lols that's what you like to called? lmao thanks for being there when i needed a train buddy as well as letting me express how i feel LOL.. i kinda do that alot =.= but THANK YOU HEAPSS lols..but i haven't seen you catching the train lately.. or is it that i  just hang out too mcuh?? >< my bad.. but i shall see you in the holidays along with everyone else !!! take cares love ya <33

Emily: hiiiiiii darling!! i remember when you first came to our school.. lols i talked to you and i thought i couldn't come up with a conversation hahahha.. im soo lame lols. but you've been a great friend ( along with everyone mentioned) since you came and you're so supportive and loving towards everyone. thanks for all the support when i need it.. love ya and i shall see you in the holiz too !!!

Carol: HEY CAROL CHAN !!!~ lols.. sorry for those times that i hardly talked to you!!! but that doesn't take you away from being mentioned here !!!! haha we need to go tennis more lols.. but don't worry i'll be seeing alot of you these holidays.. tennis then shopping together.. oh like the old days ^.~ But overall you've been a gerat friend towards me and i couldn't thank you enough !! love ya and see you sooon !! <33

Ruthie: my gosh you're the best !!! I know we haven't talked alot in the past year. and wishing we could of had at least one class together =( but you're always there for me and likewise i am with you.. you hear what i have to say and all.. i appreciate it soo much... LOVE YA <33

I think thats all the names that i would like to write down and a little thing from me... who else is there that's been great?

Susan To, Su, Jenny, Sarah, Thomas, Dara, Aaron, Andy T, Andy W, Sabrina, Adam, Yiyi, Daniel H, Jinwoo and that's all i remember fromt he top of my head.. i'll add more later and sorry if i forgot your name.. jsut comment and i'll add it ^^..